Goals and Hopes in a Marriage: One is Fine, the Other is Not!

What's the difference... and how does this affect your marriage? 

The answer is found in Chapter 13 of, The 3 Lost Keys... To Your Amazing Dream Marriage; which is titled, "Goals and Hopes: One is Fine, the Other is Not!" Knowing the difference is something we all (ahem, more often us ladies) struggle with, and the tension it can put on a marriage can be devastating. If you haven't read the book yet, no problem, we can give you a little sample here that will explain the difference between goals and hopes in a marriage and why one is fine while the other is not. But if you want the full answer and more, you'll have to read the book.

Scenario One:

You want your husband, or soon-to-be-husband, to read our marriage enhancement book. You've purchased the eBook version, uploaded it to his Kindle, bookmarked the first page and wait a few days. You may even wait a week. Suddenly, he does something which makes you think, "He hasn't read that chapter yet." Next thing you know, you have his Kindle in your hands, pull up the eBook and sure enough notice he hasn't even read the introduction. 

Racing down the stairs with the evidence in your hands, you bring up the most recent infraction on his part and how in chapter 12 it says 'the man is the one who has to...' (I can't give it all away!) Now you are really rolling, telling him all you wanted him to do was just read the book and he couldn't even take time to do this for you. He's let you down, again. Oh, and that trash he was supposed to take out is still overflowing and the toilet he was supposed to fix is still running after you flush it. Yeah, that's right you say, I remember all the things you haven't done that I wanted you to do. 

Now its his turn. He reminds you of all the times you have let him down. Like to call the plumber and have him come fix the toilet and buy some more garbage bags because last time he checked, we were out. The next thing you know, you are in an all out argument and aren't even 100% sure what started it. Well, we do. 

Scenario Two:

Same situation. You want your husband, or soon-to-be-husband, to read the marriage self-help book. Rather than buy it and put it on his Kindle, you text him the link to do it when he can. Again, one night he does something which makes you think, "He sure hasn't read that chapter yet." Instead of running to his Kindle, seeing if he has read it and letting him know about it, you find another way. You gently ask him (at a later time so as not to imply the comment he made prompted you in any way) if he got the text with the link to a great marriage self-help book. 

At that time, he replies he opened the link, purchased the book and read the first few chapters. He loves that its short, easy to understand and for the first time, not written by some professional marriage counselor, but rather a man much like himself. Its easy to read, he says, and he can not wait to finish it. 

Now, which scenario sounds better? Which one did the wife have a goal and which one did she have a hope? What one had a better outcome?

Remember, for more on this chapter and how to have the dream marriage you've always wanted, read our book, "The 3 Lost Keys... to Your Amazing Dream Marriage." 

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